When were you diagnosised with fibromyalgia or chronic pain? Do you remember a carefree life before this one? A life where you now plan every moment as to not cause undue fatigue or flairs? Is the word carefree even in your vocabulary anymore? What does it mean to be grieving a beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis?
There was a beautiful life that people with fibromyalgia and chronic pain diseases lived before the perplexing diagnosis. You can read more of my story here. This time in your history may seem like it was a lifetime ago, but you can look at pictures of before diagnosis and now to see a difference. It is perfectly acceptable to greive your former life. It is also ok to grieve a life that you thought you might have and realize now with chronic pain it might not be that way.
How To Grieve Well
Is it possible to look back at what once was a beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis and grieve well? Yes, you can learn to mourn what should have been well. The first thing you need to do is to accept your perplexing diagnosis. You should take time to let the reality of what is now your reality sink into your brain. Take time to journal your thoughts, feelings and facts about your diagnosis. My favorite journal is by Moleskine. I love the lined pages and the fact that it is easy to carry. I use this for journaling and taking notes in church.
When you take the time to express your honest feelings about grief over a beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis then you are making a huge step in the acceptance process. You have to accept the new reality before you can begin to heal and move forward mentally. By journaling your thoughts and feelings you are able to express fears, uncertainities, concerns and true grief you are experiencing.
Grieving the Beautiful Life Before the Perplexing Diagnosis with Someone
The next step to grieving the beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis is to find someone to talk to about your feelings. A trusted counselor is best in this situation. They are trained professionals who can walk with you in your grief over your life before diagnosis and help navigate what your new life looks like for the future. It is also helpful to discuss your true feelings with your spouse or significant other. Keeping them in the loop about your grief over the life that was before the diagnosis is helpfu. You can both naviagate what the future life looks like together. It helps them to understand what you are experiencing and feeling in your everyday life and how they can help you naviagate those feelings.
Make a plan for the new life post diagnosis
Once you have gained a better understanding of grief over the beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis then it is time to make a plan for your life post diagnosis. Create a list of things that you can do with in reason. Keep you list of “can do” things near by so that when you are having a pain free day you can choose something from your list to accomplish. On this list should be must do items and fun to do items. Remember the saying-“All work and no play makes you a dull person”. It is important to make room to play when you can so add things that you enjoy doing!
Grieving a Beautiful Life Before the Perplexing Diagnosis is a Cycle
One thing that you should understand about grieving your life before diagnosis is that it is a cycle. One day you will be managing this new diagnosis and life perfectly then the next day you will be greiving what once was a healthier way of life. This cycle of grief is perfectly normal and acceptable. The reason you should journal and speak with a conselor is so that you can walk through this cycle over and over in a healthy way. Being able to share your true feelings will help you understand the part of the cycle that you are in at the moment. You may also discover healthy ways to handle the feelings that you are experiencing.
Find Groups to Join for Your Diagnosis
Another helpful outlet for you to share your grief for the life before diagnosis is a group for your diagnosis. There may be support groups through your local medical facility or Facebook offers groups. A word of caution about online groups is that you need to be aware of what you are joining. It is helpful to find groups of Christians that share in your diagnosis because it seems they will take a more encouraging approach to the group postings. We do not need fake friendship or false hope for cures, but we also do not need to spend hours online in a group that does nothing but discourage or bring us further down in our grief. The last word of caution would be that you should never share personal or private information online such as addresses, banking information, etc.
Grieving a Beautiful Life Before the Perplexing Diagnosis is Normal
To grieve your beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis is normal, and you need to find healthy ways to navigate that grief. Take time to journal your thoughts and feelings about your diagnosis. Find a counselor or discuss with your spouse how this new diagnosis is effecting your life. Share with them the grieving process over the life you once lived prior to this diagnosis and the one you are living now. Find groups of people who share similar diagnosis and share how you are grieving and understand how you are not alone in this process. You need to be aware that grieving a beautiful life before the perplexing diagnosis is a cycle. You will fluxuate in and out of this cycle so therefore you should not be concerned when you find yourself back in a stage of grief after you feel like you have made great progress. Grieving a beautiful life before a perplexing diagnosis is normal.