The past year I have logged lots of airline miles. My increase in mileage is due to the birth of our first grandson. As I fly, the stewardess comes forward to give safety guidelines at the beginning of every flight. One of the instructions is in case of the loss of air pressure an oxygen mask will drop from above and you are to place the mask upon yourself first then place it on any child accompanying you next. When hearing this instruction, I am reminded of my time as a young mother. I see my daughter and my other friends who are walking the same journey. I want to offer some instructions for new mothers. Our babies arrive and are so very special. In all honesty, in all of their sweet cuteness they rock our world.
Let me be your stewardess of sorts on this aircraft we call Motherhood.
I only offer direction because I have read the instruction manual. A quick confession is that I did not always follow said instructions. There is a thing that no one really talks about that is called Mom overload. When our children are young, their schedules and needs demand a lot from us as parents. Parents, we must tag team this part of their lives together. It is very hard to walk this part of the journey alone.
You need to work together as a team to communicate how to help meet those needs of your family. If you are a single mom then I would encourage you to find another family member or friend to help you in parenting your child. The saying that it takes a village is so very true.
Eight Instructions for New Mothers
The first lesson I have to share with you is that the season you are in will not last forever. Kids grow in stages where your involvement lessens. The early days where our babies require so much from mama only diminishes very quickly. It is so very true what they say that you should not blink because your babies will be grown. (mine did)
While you are in the journey of child rearing and for some of you balancing work outside of the home, I will encourage you to grab your oxygen mask first. You need to take care of yourself first. I learned this as my nest was becoming empty so I hope you will hear me a bit earlier in your journey.
A dear friend once told me she often let her husband take reading and bath time while she took her own bath time. She grabbed a book and drew a warm bath. Dads are great at the end of the day. My husband had a special song and love pats with my kids.
Lesson number two has been a hard one for me to learn so listen up please. I would even encourage you learn this from the beginning of pregnancy. Eat veggies & fruit and little to no sugar. The healthier you are the better you feel. The better you feel then the better you parent. I encourage you to drink water, eat your fruit and veggies and find a method of movement you can enjoy.
You have read it hear on the blog being a better parent is found in Gods word and prayer. https://kitchencounterliving.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=449&action=edit The best guide to any parent is the Word of God. I found a group of friends who prayed over our children every week. https://momsinprayer.org It was such a joy to share the burden and joys of child rearing with God and a group of like minded friends.
Our next instruction for new Mothers -sanity
is for you to find your thing-cooking club once a month, book club every other month, sew, craft, rock climb, run -meet with group of moms for prayer weekly. You need to take an hour a day or a month to do something that gives you life. As a mothers, we can quickly lose sight of who we are as women. It will be good to find out what we like to do then do it.
A very helpful tool for us when our children were younger was that I would cook ahead. You can make a double recipe of dinner and freeze one or you can cook one weekend a month. https://www.amazon.com/Once-Month-Cooking-Spending-Delicious/dp/0312366256 With the cooking once a month method you, meal prep for week where you prepare meat, chop veggies, cook and put several meals in the freezer.
Find a way for date night.
You are in a season of life where you are tired, feeling like you have nothing left to give. I encourage you to make an effort to put on real clothes and makeup for a date night. Exchange babysitting duties with a neighbor or friend that you trust, grab dinner, go bowling, go walk around the bookstore together, get coffee, take a hike. The point is that you do something together. You may find yourself in a time where money is tight so be creative let your kids skip naps catch an early bed time so you can enjoy take out and a movie.
Create ways that you laugh a lot. We use to lay on couch and watch a funny sitcom. It is still one of my favorite things to do is laugh at silly things with my husband. Laughing together is good!
One of the things new mothers experience is a change in hormones. This imbalance not only effects our physical body but our emotional well being. I experienced post-pardum depression following the birth of some of my children. I encourage you to speak to your spouse and your doctor first and foremost about what you are feeling. The second thing is you should find a counselor. Regularly talking with someone who is trained to walk through these emotional changes is a key to helping find the healing that you need. Lastly, I encourage you to meet with a mentor who has been through this season who can offer encouragement.
Remember there are seasons. You aren’t destined to forever feel this pressure. These instructions for new mothers are things that were lessons I learned. Please add some things you would share with new mothers (and fathers) to aid in Christian parenting.