As a preteen I struggled with my self esteem and with hearing the voices of negative that spoke loudly in my ears. My mother, in her wisdom, would place me on her kitchen counter to listen to my heartaches and offer up pearls of inspiration, God confidence. I spent many hours in that galley kitchen with my bottom on one counter while my feet stretched across to the other listening and talking and crying and shaping my heart.
I would be placed in charge of tearing the lettuce and chopping tomatoes for a salad. I bake my first chocolate cake with chocolate icing on those counters. It was not a large space where I learned some of the most life shaping lessons. If Mama was in that kitchen then I was usually right under her.
Lesson that I could “believe in myself”, and it “all would get better when I got to college” were spoken over and over to my unbelieving heart. I loved those times in the kitchen with my Mama. They proved to be invaluable to me later in life. The God confidence that she offered me was a starting ground for the woman that I am today.
As I have three daughters (and a son), I wanted the message they heard from my kitchen counters to be helpful. I remember reading every book on parenting Godly children that was available. There was an ideal in my mind that we would have weekly family worship/devotions, that life lesson moments were picturesque, and that joyful, obedient children would follow.
Well, reality is life lesson happened on the fly-usually after a not so Godly moment. Family devotion time made my children cry because I had the wrong approach. We all were not always joyful or obedient. Now do not get me wrong-we are blessed with some AMAZING children. They have grown into adults who love the Lord and serve Him. Hopefully, they are not too scarred by my devotions or life lesson moments.
There really is no manual for raising kids that comes in their crib at delivery. The Bible is our guide to parenting. Thousand of books written by experts and not-so-experts that will tell us “how to” parent, but God set it up so clearly.
These are 5 foundations to teach our children.
If we were given a “Raising Children Manual” these would be inside… (and I am certain there are more)
- teach them who He created them to be a chosen child-
Colossians 3:12New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselveswith compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
2. how to get along with others-
Matthew 22:37, 39New International Version (NIV)
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’a]”>[a]39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’a]”>[a]3. direction for life-
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
4. not to live in excess of anything-
1 Corinthians 6:19-20New International Version (NIV)
19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
5. respect parents & discipline-
Matthew 19:19New International Version (NIV)
19 honor your father and mother,’a]”>[a] and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’b]”>[b]”
Lastly, I think we need to teach our children how to talk to God & be in relationship with him. It is simple-we just have to have a conversation with Him. He is always listening and honestly He already knows what is on our hearts, but wants to hear it from us. To be in relationship with God, we have to spend time with Him. Daily reading of His word is like hearing His voice inside His letter to us. Talking to Him daily in prayer. Our last key to relationship is spending time praising Him through worship-corporate in church and private in prayers of praise.
Our kitchen counters can be come conduits to building God confidence in our children. Raising children who love the Lord and follow His commands are keys to the parenting He has called us to do.